You have fantasy sports problems? We have the answers!

In 2015 over 56 million people world wide were involved in a fantasy sport. That was almost a 37 percent jump from 2014. In 2013, Forbes listed fantasy football alone worth 60 billion dollars. If you can find the right sport to fit your liking and knowledge you can make some serious money.

I caught up with two of my closest friends and picked their brains on their fantasy mastery. Take a listen and see if you can steal an idea or two to help you and your future teams.

 

5 signs you’re the “Taco” of your fantasy football league

Millions of people across the globe participate in fantasy football, an online competition where a group of friends or coworkers can add interest to the regular slate of NFL games every Sunday besides by competing against each other with the players on the field.

But every league has a “Taco” in it, derived from the lazy, unaware, free-loading character from hit series “The League” that aired for seven seasons on FX from 2009 to 2015.

Here’s five ways to find out if you’re role in fantasy football is a synonym for a Mexican dish of meat, lettuce, and cheese served on a tortilla.

5.) You’ve never come close to a ring

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Google Images

Sure, 13 NFL teams have yet to win a Super Bowl, but that’s in the NFL, a bit tougher task than winning a virtual championship in a fantasy league.

The NFL consists of 32 teams in a grueling nine-month struggle for supremacy. You on the other hand, play fantasy football with approximately nine other people and usually find yourself at the lower end of the totem poll at season’s end.

Just like the Houston Texans, Detroit Lions, Jacksonville Jaguars, and Cleveland Browns, when the playoffs start, your season ends.

4.) You draft broadcasters/ retired players

steve-young
marines.mil

Yes, left-handed BYU-product Steve Young would be a great pick… If it were 1994 when he threw 35 touchdowns and led the 49ers to a Lombardi Trophy.

Since you’re out of the loop when the fantasy season begins, you often find yourself drafting a player-turned-broadcaster like Steve Young, Deion Sanders, and Trent Dilfer.

Since the apps on your phone are not related to sports, when players retire from the league, you find out a little too late.

Yes, you have the fifth overall pick and Calvin Johnson Jr. is available. What a steal! You’ll probably go ahead and snag Peyton Manning and Marshawn Lynch in the later rounds to fill out your playoff-bound roster.

3.) You’re not really sure when the games are

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(Fox Broadcasting Company)

While your friends are getting their lineups, tablets, and laptops ready for a full slate of NFL action every Sunday, you’re sleeping in until about noon and missing that last-minute injury report that Doug Martin is out this week with a knee injury.

As the game’s are going on, you may be heading to work, doing homework, or maybe going back to bed because your hungover from Saturday night. Whatever the case, you’re not watching football until Sunday night when Carrie Underwood hits the stage for NBC’s theme song.

2.) You ignore all injuries in your lineup

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(Google Images)

Once you put your lineup in the correct spots at the beginning of the season, it is set for the next 14 weeks no matter what.

Even though you have priority on the waiver wire, you keep Tony Romo in as your quarterback even though he’s had a broken back for the last six weeks.

Tyler Eifert’s ankle? Not bad enough to keep him out your starting flex spot.

These players can’t stay injured forever, right? Exactly, and who is going to be the smooth criminal that still has them next year when they return? That’s right you.

Too bad it’s not a keeper league.

1.) KICKERS!

draft-board
Google Images

Your football knowledge is below average at best. So when you hear the word football, you use common sense and realize that feet must be the most important part of the game.

So who uses their feet more than anyone? KICKERS!

Justin Tucker in the first round? Obviously.

Shaun Suisham in the fourth? Of course, even though the Steelers released him in June so you better handcuff him with Chris Boswell in the seventh.

Mike Nugent in the ninth? Value pick

Chandler Catanzaro in the last round? Sleeper of the draft.

You may miss the playoffs, but at least you’re not the 2008 Detroit Lions, they actually tried to win games.

 

Fantasy football frenzy

If you’ve ever watched football at a sports bar, you’ve probably encountered rowdy fans that are way too into the game. If you’re with these people, you’re embarrassed. If you’re not, you’re frightened. When you’re sitting at the bar, sipping your beer while you casually watch the game, and some jersey-clad lunatic erupts into a frenzy after a sack or fumble, you can’t help but wonder what is going on inside their head. Why is this person so invested in this game?

The answer to this question is simple: fantasy football.

Fantasy football is deserving of its name. It gives regular Joes everywhere something to cling to and live out their post-high school football fantasies. This kind of delusional make-believe can be intoxicating, even dangerous. Especially when you add money to the equation.

Some fantasy leagues are among friends where no money is at stake, only bragging rights. Some leagues however, can have big buy-ins where the pot can exceed hundreds of dollars. When you consider the financial aspect, you can understand why some people are so prone to outbursts while watching football.

I witnessed them firsthand when I was uptown Sunday night.

It was late in the third quarter of the Steelers-Rams game. I was sitting at the bar when it happened. Ben Roethlisberger dropped back to pass, but the Rams defense brought pressure. Ben went down, sacked. Groans erupted around the bar because of the sack, but when Ben didn’t get up right away, that’s when it hit the fan.

As Roethlisberger was helped off the field, I could hear one patron in close proximity begin a meltdown. I approached him cautiously.

“That’s my f—-ng quarterback, man! That’s my f—-ng season right there! I’m f—ed, man,” the fan lamented, referring to the detrimental impact Roethlisberger’s injury would have on his fantasy season.

This triggered a flashback to a similar scenario a few weeks ago.  I was at Buffalo Wild Wings when Tony Romo broke his clavicle just a week after Dez Bryant’s season came into question with a foot injury.  This precipitated much of the same from unlucky fantasy players who thought they hit the jackpot at their draft when they secured either one or both of these star players for their teams.

If you’re just a casual football fan, I strongly advise caution when interacting with these crazies.  Give them a wide berth if you aren’t prepared to risk life and limb when one of their players catches a concussion, a broken bone, or an MCL sprain.

If you’re a fantasy fanatic, I encourage you to rethink your life and consider making some changes for the sake of your sanity and overall health.


 

In the following days, it would be reported that Roethlisberger would be out 4-6 weeks.

I sure hope he has a good backup.